Are you reproducing past hurts? Are you trying to fix your past by repeating the mistakes your family made?
I did assessments on each lady that came to the battered woman’s shelter. In doing a family history, (Genogram) I discovered that they were reproducing the pain of their childhoods in their present relationships. I could often tell the kind of husbands they had by the fathers or mothers or caregivers they had lived with throughout their childhoods. Because they had not been able to fix what they could not change as children, they picked mates who had some of the same qualities. It did not seem abnormal to them until the abuse became unbearable.
The most sensitive, caring, loving, and beautiful women I had ever been around in my life were in that battered woman’s shelter. I felt the greatest gift I could give them was the gift of truth. I showed them the patterns they were repeating. They were letting the child within them pick the mates they were to live with.
They needed inner healing from a past they had not even been able to admit existed. So in groups, I would have the women close their eyes and imagine a great chain hooked to their hearts. The only one who could remove that chain was Christ himself who said, “I came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captive free.” Imagine Christ is taking bolt cutters and cutting that chain from your heart, setting you free to be filled with His love, forgiveness, joy, and peace.
To receive the joy of the Lord, we must cut off everything and everyone who binds us to a life of abuse. We must understand that we as human beings cannot save, change, fix, or make someone love us. David did not make best friends with Goliath thinking he could fix or change him. He slew the giant and went on the do what God showed him to do. So we can receive God’s joy and peace, we need to rid our lives of people that mock and oppress us.
I have often thought I should do an assessment and develop a treatment plan for people God has told me to stay away from. Most women who have been in an abusive relationship think if they could just understand and do all the right things, the relationship would be good. They think an abusive, controlling tormenter is capable of loving them.
I don’t believe God wants his precious children to stay in relationships where they are being emotionally and physically abused. As I have talked to the abusers, I do not see a repetitive heart that has remorse for the way they have treated loved ones.
It is not surprising to be surrounded by hateful, degrading, and cruel people in a prison. This might be expected. But when a woman is with a husband who treats her worse than a criminal, she is confused. This man was supposed to protect and love me. Instead, he treats me like an enemy.
God hates it when a man covers himself with violence. He hates seeing his children abused. Leave and let God fill you with his JOY.
Journal about the people you really love and those who love you. Surround your life with people who love you.
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Not a member of the Joy in Troubled Times Challenge yet?
Join today it’s free! I look forward to seeing you on the other side. Here’s why I decided to do this challenge. Since joy is a choice, and a choice we make every single day, I want to challenge you to make it a habit. Over the coming days, I want to inspire and encourage you to make a choice each morning to be more joyful.
It takes time and daily conscious decisions to change habits and how we approach life. That’s where the challenge comes into play. The idea is that you have a daily reminder here on the blog and via email each day to help you remember to make that choice. Of course, there will also be plenty of helpful content on the topic of joy in the form of a new daily blog post. At the end of the challenge, I hope you have formed new habits, new ways of thinking, and new ways to look at each situation as it arises. With a little shift in thinking and perception, you can have a more joyful, more fulfilling life. I hope this challenge will help you get there.